I pride myself in being an independent woman and normally I’m completely fine alone. But alas, even the most independent people need some lovin’ sometimes.
I had a hard day yesterday – and by “hard” I mean one of those days where you seriously start to question your existence as a human being. I had made plans to hang out with Mr. Bumble last week and I didn’t want to cancel on him so I went, despite being in my uncharacteristically terrible mood. I am not one to let my bad mood affect others so as soon as I got to Mr. Bumble’s house, I told him I had a rough day, which is why I may seem a little off but that I was going to push through it and be back to my normal self in a few minutes.
We laid down on his bed next to each other – him laying on his side and me laying on my stomach. He was laying slightly above me so I had to look up at him while we spoke. We talked about random things and he started stroking my hair and said he could tell I was stressed and that I should tell him about my day. I knew I had to vent out loud so I did and instantly felt better. The entire time, he listened attentively, sympathetically and made me feel heard. Once I got it off my chest, he continued to lighten the mood with idiotic jokes and banter. He got serious for two seconds and looked me right in the eyes, told me he liked my makeup, that I was beautiful and kissed me on my forehead.
No matter how gangster I might consider myself, my heart melted. The feeling of having someone make your happiness a priority, if even for 5 minutes, is like nothing else in this world. The smallest gestures can speak volumes sometimes.
We started talking about eating right after this and it was like it never happened but I still have an idiotic smile on my face as I think about it. It isn’t necessarily what Mr. Bumble does but it’s more how he makes me feel. We have no title so there isn’t a pressure for either of us to behave in a certain way, so when he does/says cute things, it means that much more. I feel safe with him. Probably because we have restricted the scope of our relationship but regardless, I really appreciate him.